BEING A HEAD OF SCHOOL

The Santa Fe Leadership Center set out recently to explore some of the dynamics of being a new head of an independent, private school, partly in preparation for one of our Seminars and partly to find out what people in these positions were experiencing that we might be able to address in a thoughtful, systematic and helpful manner. Sixty people in their first ten years responded to our questions and gave us an enormous amount of information which we have summarized and which we are glad to share with our colleagues.  We are indebted to Educational Directions, Incorporated, a national consulting firm (www.edu-directions.com) for sharing information from their publication, The Head's Letter, which includes a monthly announcement of all known head appointments. We are also especially grateful to those who have responded so generously to our questions.

This is not about getting ahead (or getting a head) but it could be about being ahead, meaning what it takes to be in the pro-active stance rather than the re-active one. There will inevitably be times when one must respond quickly and intelligently to unpredictable events beyond what we might have planned or even imagined.  In fact, that need gave rise in many places to a crisis management plan that enables an entire organization to follow certain protocols designed to protect and preserve order, ensure safety and avoid chaos to the extent possible. 

If you are the head, whether head of a school or even the head of a division or department, think of one or two big surprises that you may have encountered during your early tenure.  There is almost always one or more.  Expect the unexpected is a fair maxim to remember.  Being prepared and equipped to deal with whatever comes up and demonstrate capable and competent leadership are tremendous assets.

The sample was fairly representative of heads of independent schools, about 70% men, 30% women; 75% day schools, 25% boarding/day or day/boarding combinations;  35% PreK/K-12,  35% K-6/8. 15% 9-12, and 15% other combinations of grades such as 6-12 or K-3/5.  The number of  years completed as head ranged from 1 year, 40%; 2-5 years, 35%; 6-10 years, 20% and 5% other.  Over 65% of first-time heads came directly from either a division head, assistant head, or a principal’s position.

Among the many reasons given why people sought to become a head of 
school, the primary ones were the desire to have a positive impact on schools and to be able to make a difference as a leader who could help set the agenda and work toward beneficial changes and improvements.  Many felt ready to take on more and greater challenges and saw this opportunity as the next logical step in their career if they were going to advance.  This seemed to be a critical time of making such an important decision. When one decided to take on the blessings and burdens of being a head may be the result of accumulated experience, maturity and related to where one was in terms of stage of life.  If there is an average age of first time heads, it would appear to be in the late thirties, early forties although there are many exceptions on either end of the age spectrum.

What I have observed as one becomes a head of school is what I call the three year spectrum.  The first year is spent listening, learning and figuring out the players, the politics and what needs immediate attention.  Some people are smart enough to make a statement by making some necessary changes in the first year that are easy and not too costly.  The second year is often characterized by making plans and either updating a strategic plan or crafting a new one and in year three, the head takes ownership and begins to implement more desired changes and improvements in areas that have been defined as greatest needs and challenges. 

 Here is one person’s list of objectives and needs the first six years: Administrative departments and their processes - admissions, development, finance etc. -student achievement -curriculum -instruction -assessment -hiring/firing -managing -admissions -sustainability efforts -development -capital fund gains -relationship building -community engagement -professional development -scheduling -problem solving –futuring.  Those constituents that required most time and attention included the administrative team, the Board, parents, faculty and students, somewhat in that order for most people.  Fortunate are those heads with administrative colleagues to whom a lot of responsibility can be delegated.

The following scheme was created by Lee Burns, completing his 14th year as a school head and in his last year as head at Presbyterian Day School in Memphis.  He has been called to be the next head of his alma mater, McCallie, in Chattanooga, beginning in July, 2014.  We are grateful to Lee for his recent leadership in our November Seminar for Heads of School in Santa Fe.

Ages/Stages of Headship

I. Infancy/Beginning

•          There is personal excitement and institutional excitement.

•          It’s important to ask questions, listen and learn and to build relationships.

•          That summer, had parent focus groups and met with group of students. Had met with teachers in grade level groups prior spring.

•          You have an “excuse” not to have to make decisions or act yet.

•          It’s a strategic time to gather “capital” that can be spent later.

•          Little things you do or say can send big message. Be mindful of that.

•          Enjoy this season. Bask in the glow of excitement and accolades. Remember it when tougher seasons come down the road.

•          Had my office upstairs in the middle of everything.

•          Popped in classes often.

•          Ate lunch with the students most days.

II. Early Lessons Learned

•          The honeymoon ends. Hopefully, you’ve collected a lot of good will/capital that can be spent.

•          You’re getting a sense of the strengths and weaknesses of the institution, including a sense of who may not be a fit or even who may offer resistance (Associate Head)

•          Set up structures (committees, task forces, etc.) and processes that created more conversations about teaching and learning than had existed before.

•          Initiated strategic planning process, facilitated by consultant Bill Weary.

•          Many faculty, especially some long-tenured ones, had an unrealistic picture of our school, especially ignoring some weaknesses. They loved the school, and I needed to validate their love and investment while pushing/asking them to consider ways we could get better.

•          To the extent that our faculty could see my commitment to the students and how hard I was working, they cut me some slack as I started to make clear that we need to think about making some changes.

•          Outside validation was important. I visited schools in New York, Silicon Valley and started to network nationally. This gave us confidence and made it harder to resisters to make a case for status quo.

III. Taking Charge/Exercising Authority

•          This is a hard season.

•          It’s obvious by now that some people need to go. It’s a critical moment and test of leadership. Faculty will be watching to see if we as school heads really will insist that faculty align themselves with new agenda/vision/etc. I did not renew a handful of teachers.

•          We added programs and personnel, had a new schedule, and began implementing our new strategic plan.

•          I hired some very talented new teachers and administrators. We restructured some positions.

•          An old-guard vs. new guard dynamic emerged.

•          Some teachers complained to the Board. During a season of change, which can be risky for school heads, it is particularly important to communicate well with the Board and know of their backing.

•          I felt attacked and sometimes alone. (Seek colleagues out for support and perspective)

•          Maintain a posture of strength, boldness and optimism. More than anyone else, we set the tone for the school.

•          Take the high road, especially publically, in terms of being gracious in thanking departing faculty and staff.

•          Ride out the storm (two years).

IV. Learning What Works and What Doesn’t

•          By being strong and staying the course during a tough season enables us to emerge as stronger leaders on the back side of that season.

•          By talking more about faithfulness, loyalty and traditions, it freed us up to be more forward-leaning and progressive.

•          Faculty and staff need more affirmation from me than I initially realized.

•          Provide significant professional development. We started sending our teachers in teams to Project Zero at Harvard.

•          With a strategic plan in place, “my team” in place internally, and having developed relationships with key constituents, it was a good time to start planning for a capital campaign.

•          It’s better to have 7-8 direct reports instead of 12-15. I shrunk that number.

•          As I came to have less frequent direct contact with our faculty, I carved out time to teach for a day in each of our nine grade levels. It was fun, but it sent the message to our faculty that I value their work and want to be able to empathize with them. Some of them still talk about my doing that.

V. Adapting to Change (Adolescence)

•          Acknowledge that change is messy and hard and involves grief and courage. Talk about this as a faculty.

•          Remember to communicate the need and urgency for change.

•          We did a lot of work around Carol Dweck’s growth mindset work during this time. We talked a lot about the need to be flexible and nimble.

•          We increased the reading/viewing of books/videos beyond the field of education.

•          We as a school studied Google and their principles of innovation.

•          Remind people that we’ve built some strong “can-do” muscles from previous hard things we’ve done.

•          As Head of School, I began investing more in coaching up members of our administrative team.

•          I began blogging and tweeting as a means to share with our broad school community what I believe about learning in today’s world and why we are changing as a school.

•          I began teaching a class as a means of staying more directly connected to our students and the classroom.

VI. Maturity and Judgment

•          Culture matters more than policies, resources, etc. I see myself as a guardian and promoter of our school’s culture. I often speak about our mission, core values, and how we do life together.

•          Spending more time leading and less time managing as I did in my early years at school.

•          I spend more time trying to recruit/hire the key right people

•          I see one of my key roles now as modeling lifelong learning, especially assuring that we have a growth mindset. I pose questions and try to create/agitate a healthy tension/discomfort around the topic of learning in today’s world.

•          I empower/support others rather than trying or needing to make as many decisions.

VII. Sit, Stay or Leave/Advance

•          This stage is involving the establishment of partnerships and work beyond the campus.

•          We’ve created a teaching institute that has served over 2,500 educators.

•          We have established a partnership with a school in Buenos Aires

•          We are partnering with Harvard to host their Project Zero teacher training program.

•          We are wrapping up a $26 million capital campaign.

•          We are in the midst of a new strategic planning process.

•          The time is right for me to leave.

VIII. Pre-Retirement Planning

•          Not there yet.

The challenges and rewards of serving as a head of an independent school in 2014 are many and have grown increasingly complex.    Lee Burn’s summary touches upon some of the highlights familiar to many of us who have enjoyed leading a school through growth and change while monitoring our own personal and professional growth as well.   It seems to me that much of what we do as school heads centers around being an agent of change.

How we plan and design that change, what the Board expects of the head and to what extent the Board and head work together in a productive partnership can make a big difference in the life of any school community.  Strategic plans often set the agenda for several years as do some accreditation reports with specific recommendations.

How the head connects with and leads all seven constituencies is another important variable in the successful heads’ repertoire.  These stakeholders are those human components of this dynamic and organic institution that we call a school.  They are those who make up the structure and systems that give the school its identity, its reputation and its vitality.  That is why it is so important that heads pay close attention to each of these and recognize their value to the school.  Each of these groups (and numerous individuals within the groups) will have somewhat different needs from the head and a savvy head will know where to invest time, energy and effort to best advantage and still achieve a healthy balance between work and a personal life.  Heads also report achieving and maintaining that balance to be another challenge!

For those who may be reading this and are not a head of school, here are the seven constituencies, not in any order of priority.  Why each one is important and how they all contribute to the life of the school should be apparent by who they are.  The seven groups are:  the Board of Trustees; faculty and staff; students; the administrative team; parents; alumni; and the larger community consisting of prospective families, other organizations and institutions and potential partners and contributors.

To our colleagues who share in this endeavor we extend our hearty congratulations and deep appreciation for accepting the invitation to lead a school.  As you know well, it is many things but it is seldom dull.  For many of us who thrive on doing many different things, it is the ideal job from that perspective.  And for those who really like interacting with others on many levels, being a school head fulfills that requirement to a high degree.
Whether you are in the first ten years, the middle ten or twenty or the last ten years, we trust you have found what works for you and how to make the most of your journey along the way.

 

SPILLS AND FALLS

Watching some of the Winter Olympics, the most accomplished athletes in their respective sports competing for medals while representing their countries, one cannot help but have deep admiration and respect for the hours and years of training and preparation.  Those competitors must be practitioners of the 10,000 hours to reach a level of mastery that has taken them to what is often the pinnacle of their careers.

Malcolm Gladwell, in his book Outliers, popularized the concept of the 10,000 hours rule by noting that the elite had practiced twice as long as the less accomplished.  In the case of Olympians, it is probably even more.  The point here is not about those who start their professional journey at an early age by practicing and competing, and winning, but more about being successful while making mistakes and learning from them.

Even the best and most successful slip and fall along the way and what is important is how they pick themselves up, brush themselves off, barring a serious injury, and start all over again.  Or, in the case of being in the middle of a performance, those with the can-do attitude who continue to perform, play or compete.  Whether on the court, field, slopes, rink, course or even in the office, how one plays the game can make all the difference in the world.

The skills, talent, energy and commitment that one develops and brings to practice a particular craft may well make significant contributions to the level of success that is the result.  However, just as important are the attitude, confidence, personality and relationships that the individual exhibits while practicing, performing and competing.   A key component in all of this is the instructor or coach who guides, directs, supports and helps make corrections with the person who wants to achieve the highest level possible.

One of the continuing essential questions is what lessons are learned from both success and mistakes?  Do we learn more from mistakes than from success?  One thing is patently clear and that is if we don’t learn from our mistakes, we are probably going to repeat them.  (George Santayana)  And what, precisely, is it that we learn?  One lesson we can learn is how to make that adjustment or correction so that next time, and there will undoubtedly be a next time, the outcome will be different.  I certainly found that to be true with skiing as well as working with other people.  I didn’t screw it up the next turn.

WORK and the APPEARANCE of PRODUCTIVITY

James Surowiecki, writing in the January 27 issue of The New Yorker entitled his article “The Cult of Overwork.”   He makes the point by noting that thirty years ago, the best paid workers in the U.S. were much less likely to work long days than low-paid workers were.  That, of course, has all changed and now the best paid are more than twice as likely to work long hours than the poorly paid.  Surowiecki says, “Overwork has become a credential of prosperity.”

I have thought for a long time that it’s crazy to think that there was some kind of correlation between the amount of time spent doing something and the quality of the outcome.  Time does not have any necessary connection to what people achieve.  Yes, doing something carefully and mindfully might take more time than sloppy and quick.  The point is that our culture has tended to put some kind of value that because you work so much, such long hours and seven days a week proves that your job is really worthwhile.  And to that, I say Baloney!

Do you honestly think that you are more dedicated, more industrious, and more productive because you spend more time doing your work than others do?    David Solomon, global co-head of investment banking at Goldman Sachs (Gold Sacks for short), told Surowiecki, “Today, technology means that we are all available 24/7.  And, because everyone demands instant gratification and instant connectivity, there are no boundaries, no breaks.”

Some time ago I wrote a short piece called “No Virtue in Being Busy.”   Now I think I should re-think that and re-design the opportunity to be un-busy, to encourage more people to unplug and take some precious time out and time off.  Why?  To reflect, renew, regenerate, recharge or maybe even get rid of the re part and generate, charge and think about what you’re doing and why.  Focus on purpose as much as productivity.  Consider how you and others value what it is that you are doing with all that time that you devote to your work.  And finally, at the end of the day, ask yourself what you might do differently tomorrow or next week.  Enjoy!

RESTORATION - RENEWAL - REGENERATION

For those who work hard, who work long hours, and are deeply engrossed in a particular job, a common fault seems to be that they do not take time out very often for their own restoration, renewal and regeneration.  The missing ingredient is often a plan that includes a commitment to honor the process of renewal and figure out what is required for that to happen and have a positive impact on the outcome.   It might be as simple as a week unplugged or as complex as changing locations.

Several months ago a former colleague and friend contacted me to see if I would help find a few candidates who would be interested in becoming a founding head of a K-7 progressive, independent school.  Without knowing a lot about the details, I did know a lot about John Faulkner who is the point person for the project.  I knew he had taken a job as a kind of town manager for a place in Arkansas that I have come to know a lot better.   This recent article in the New York Times provides some of that background.  http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/20/us/arkansas-towns-new-owner-has-visions-of-its-renaissance.html

What intrigues me about this project is that it is an opportunity for renewing an entire community while respecting and honoring the history, culture and traditions of the region. The plan for renewal is inclusive, intentional and by design. One larger goal, among many of the ongoing projects designed to breathe new life into Wilson, is making the place attractive and appealing for people who might consider moving there.  Those who want a particular kind of life-style, especially those who can work independently, or who might own their own business could easily move their work to this location.  The benefit cost ratio seems significant for those with the vision and energy who might want to capitalize on such an opportunity.

For individuals, couples or families who might want to escape the urban or suburban crunch and live and work in a somewhat rural area in a small town atmosphere and yet close to a metropolitan center, Wilson has a lot to recommend.  For those who are interested in moving here, and either buying or building a house of their own design, or relocating a business where there is excellent connectivity, and comparatively inexpensive real estate, take a closer look.

My small part is helping to launch a new school so that families with young children can be assured of an excellent educational opportunity and experience for their kids.  There is more information available on The Delta School for those with children between the ages of 5 and 12. Wilson, Arkansas has the possibility of becoming a prototype for restoring and renewing a lot of small towns where people can enjoy a productive, healthy, and a relatively stress-free life.  You might even know someone who would find Wilson a terrific place to live and work and a small business with a few to several employees could make this an even better choice.  At the end of the day, it is usually about the choices we made.

WHETHER THE WEATHER

For the past nine years, one of my office windows, the one I faced while sitting at my desk, gave me a wonderful view east and thus I saw many glorious sunrises in northern New Mexico.  I am also linked to the weather wunderground (www.wunderground) which gives me sufficient data to know current and future conditions in my immediate area.  Or I can check out the weather for any location that interests me or one where I might be while traveling.

Clear sunshine, a dominant feature in New Mexico, varying temperatures, cloudy or not, anticipated precipitation, not nearly enough currently that has resulted in severe fire danger (that was posted most reently), wind velocity and direction – all of this and more at my fingertips.  Does it matter in the whole scheme of things?  Probably not, but I like being in sync with the weather and consider it a friendly companion, especially when outdoors.

I like Bill Bryson’s quote that there is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.  Weather is what it is and whether or not you subscribe to climate change or whether you complain about it being too cold, too hot, too windy, too dry or too wet, there is nothing you can do to change it but you can make some adjustments whether in clothing or location or even in attitude. You are only stuck where you are if you believe that. 

This winter has been hard on many people and some of the southern parts of the U.S. have just suffered what is a bit unusual for them, extreme snow and cold.  It’s a result of the polar vortex or the jet stream being farther south than usual and who knows why that is except that some meteorologist somewhere who probably has an explanation.  I didn’t bother to look it up.

As many have said, if you don’t like the weather, just wait awhile.  It’s bound to change.  And, if you like it as it is, then celebrate that by soaking it up whether in sun and surf, on the ski slopes or beaches, on lakes and rivers, in the mountains or the valleys, in the high desert or on the plains, on farms and ranches, in the cities and towns, wherever you are. My conclusion is that weather is a wonderful phenomenon, and being tuned in to it and fully alive with it enriches every day. Even in small ways, the weather adds a dimension of appreciation for the gift of yet another day. 

Natural disasters are the exception and thankfully, most often short lived - tornadoes, earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, blizzards, tsunamis and even a severe drought- all of those test how we both prepare for and respond to extreme weather conditions and events.

I still face east most mornings although no longer in the same place.  It’s part of my daily ritual as one who watches the sun and connects with it as I tune up and in for the day ahead. This morning, in the dark before the sunrise, just across the Kansas border in northeastern Oklahoma, I felt a light mist on my face.  Sure enough, the forecast says light drizzle this morning.  Drizzle and mist?  It’s really quite nice especially having come from the very dry, high desert.  It is still all about change!

STRESS, ANXIETY AND RELIEF

In Louis Menand’s New Yorker (Jan27) review of Scott Stossel’s book, “My Age of Anxiety” (Knopf) Menand gives a fairly good historical perspective on how the topic of anxiety has been researched, described and treated.  And, like Stossel’s condition, not a whole lot has changed in the so-called human condition of the reaction to the stress and uncertainty of our lives.

It seems that people worry daily about everything from their work to their finances, about their children or their parents (or other family members) about their present or future conditions, including health and wellness, and in some places about where they are going to live, what they are going to eat or how they might end up.  One of the better definitions of anxiety that I heard a long time ago was “prolonged worry over matters we can do nothing about.”

Perhaps it would help to understand the continuum of anxiety, not unlike the continuum of fear.  One can experience mild fear or stark terror as extremes on either end.  Likewise, there are the little worries that are not all that upsetting, concerns of one kind or another that we can actually do something about and take action to the enormous anxiety that renders one feeling helpless and ultimately depressed.  That’s probably why the diagnosis in the DSM-V has tried to separate some of the related “disorders” from each other.

Much has remained the same in the areas of anxiety and depression, with refinements of criteria and symptoms across the lifespan. Some disorders included in the broad category of anxiety disorders are now in three sequential chapters: Anxiety Disorders, Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders, and Trauma- and Stressor-Related Disorders. This move emphasizes how each category has its own distinctions while still being interconnected. 

Menand says that the term “anxiety” is a catch-all and I tend to agree.  He says, “people describe themselves as excited, nervous, apprehensive, tense, stressed out, bugged, worried, panicky, vapor-locked, scared shitless, sick to their stomach, and feeling like they’re gonna die.”   Sometimes it does help to give the feeling a name rather than not be able to put a handle on it and deal with it.

What I want to suggest is that there are numerous ways to alleviate anxiety and as Stossel and others have discovered, drugs and therapy don’t always work.  There are those who have made enormous changes in their lives whether in life-style, locations, significant changes in significant relationships, or in the approach to solving the problem instead of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (the classic definition of insanity). There are many people who have experienced a reprieve from anxiety that is most welcome and mentally healthy.  In fact, it is life-giving rather than life-reducing.

What seems to be an obstacle to making the change is the unwillingness to take the risk and step off into the unknown. That’s often a scary proposition and some people would rather be in a state of stress-filled security than live in a situation without knowing the outcomes.  In the end, it boils down to choices and choosing not to do anything is also a choice.  It’s your turn to play your cards. 

THE EBB AND FLOW OF TRANSITION

Two recent “events” have given me pause to consider how they are real and symbolic regarding what is the constant in our lives, and that is, of course, change.  We are all about change of one kind or another, most of the time.  Some are big changes, really big life changes and some are small changes, shifts in the way we do things, moving from place to place, and even the smallest kind of thing like a haircut.

The most recent change for us is a move from our home and six acres on the Chama River in northern New Mexico.  We moved from a 2800 square foot house, chock a block full of furniture, art and personal effects into our motor home of 320 square feet of living space.  If we were in a warmer climate, which we will be soon, we could add the outside patio, but right now, it’s 27 degrees out there.  Never mind what we did with all the stuff.  It went into storage until we feel like dealing with it, probably in the late Spring or Summer.

We also had a barn full of more stuff and several other buildings.  They were used for storing equipment including a tractor and mowers, tools, garden supplies, chickens and donkeys, all requiring care and maintenance.  We figured that after nine years there, enjoying the wonderful scenery and the rural, remote location, it was time to move on to other activities including our desire for more mobility.  Less to take care of seemed appealing.

While that may seem like a big change, and in many respects it is, much of it is within our control.  Some life changes appear outside of our control and those can seem overwhelming and demand that we respond in order to survive.  When my wife was 37, she suffered an aneurysm followed by a stroke, life threatening and terribly difficult.  However, she decided to make some big changes, survived, and developed her own radical theory of disease and healing and has lived on 29 years including a bout with cancer 5 years ago while we were in London. The treatment, along with her attitude, was effective and successful.

The more recent cancer story in our family is about a sister-in-law, diagnosed a little more than a year ago with kidney and uterine cancers, apparently separate and unrelated but that’s hard to reconcile.  She had major surgery at a world-renown cancer center in Texas, and then suffered the treatments of chemo and radiation therapies.  This past Christmas Eve while in Italy with some family members, a brain tumor, metastasized from the uterine cancer, was detected and needed immediate attention.

A quick flight back to Houston, more surgery to remove the newfound tumor and Voila she is on yet another road to recovery.  These life interruptions are not only upsetting and annoying; they are painful, and debilitating.  Changing one’s life to include treatment for cancer is an enormous adjustment to say the least.  The support, care and love of family members are therapeutic in themselves and the personal adjustments required to adapt to this change include significant physical, mental, emotional and spiritual exercises, along with various drug protocols.

The highs and lows of the emotional roller-coaster represent more change than one would normally like to deal with.  However, we need to understand and accept that this ebb and flow are the norm and weave these strands of irregularities into the tapestry of our lives.  We can learn to expect the unexpected, anticipating that there will inevitably be these life-threatening, life-changing experiences at some time (or times) in our lives and build up a bank account of personal resources upon which we can draw when needed.

The real question is not why did this happen, although there are those who like to speculate and search for reasons, perhaps in order to put the blame on some genetic or environmental flaw.  The better question is what will you make of it and how will you respond?  How will you be an active participant in your treatment, not merely a passive recipient?  Knowing that you are the major player in the ebb and flow of transition can make a big and positive difference in the outcome.  

TURNING THE PAGE, with David Eagleman

Whether it is with a finger, an arrow or feeling the paper and not a virtual page, it is a new year, a new month and a new day.    Remember paper calendars that hung on the wall?  Some were from local businesses and presented as a gift at the end of the year.  They were usually advertisements for the business with the information about services or products and contact numbers.  Often accompanied by seasonal pictures or other illustrations some of these calendars are now in the category of collectibles as few remain on the market.  However, our propane delivery guy offered me one the other day which I graciously refused.  I wondered afterwards if I should have accepted it even out of mere curiosity.

Now we will get used to writing 2014 and it will go fast enough, just like last year.  I am not sure I ever got completely comfortable with 2013, not just the numbers but that phenomenon of the older we get the faster the days, weeks, months, and years, seem to fly by.   Why is that?  What accounts for the perception of ever-increasing speed?

David Eagleman, the neuro-scientist, has several explanations and the following illustration is a good one.  So-called “brain time,” as Eagleman labels it, is intrinsically subjective. “Try this exercise,” he suggests in a recent essay. “Put this book down and go look in a mirror. Now move your eyes back and forth, so that you’re looking at your left eye, then at your right eye, then at your left eye again. When your eyes shift from one position to the other, they take time to move and land on the other location. But here’s the kicker: you never see your eyes move.” Your brain has both condensed and accelerated the scene of eyes darting back and forth and recast it as a simple one: your eyes stare straight ahead. Where did the missing moments go?

The more details in the memory, the longer the time seems to go on. “This explains why we think that time speeds up when we grow older,” Eagleman said—why childhood summers seem to go on forever, while old age slips by while we’re busy without regard for time. The more familiar the world becomes, the less information the brain records, and the more quickly time seems to pass.

“Time is this rubbery thing,” Eagleman said. “It stretches out when you really turn your brain resources on, and when you say, ‘Oh, I got this, everything is as expected,’ it shrinks up.”

Ever hear someone say, “It’s been a long day and we know that days are accorded the same 24 hours and yet some seem longer than others?  People don’t like it very much when I say that I have news for them after that remark, that all days are the same length.   It has to do with the choices we make during any given day and what we might have done to either “slow it down” or “speed it up”  and whether we were learning something new or repeating something already well-known.

As we age, this process comes into play even more, making time seem to fly by much faster. This is because the more we age, the more often we come into contact with information our brains have already processed. This familiar information takes a shortcut through our brains, giving us the feeling that time is speeding up and going ever faster.

For young children, it’s easy to see how this would work in reverse, since the majority of information their brains are processing would be brand new, and require more time to process.  As we learn new things, it seems to take longer and now there’s an explanation beyond being obtuse!